2022.06.09. 19:47, Laerthel
ez a fjl neve, so let's roll with that.
“You look particularly disgruntled today.”
Padawan Jyn Solo glanced at Jedi Master Luke Skywalker above the war-torn datapad. She briefly contemplated the possibility of saying ‘I’ve been worse’, or, ‘this essay is so dry you could name a Tatooine cantina after it’, or, ‘you know I get antsy in hyperspace’; then decided that any of these rhetorical detours – nonetheless all true – would be completely unnecessary.
And Jedi do not get antsy.
“I will get over it, Master,” she said solemnly. She could not resist adding, “This essay is not helping, though.”
“Then put it down and come help me.”
There was little help she could offer, and Jyn knew this was not about helping, anyway. She followed her master out of the cockpit and down the main aisle nonetheless, the way she always did: as a solemn shade, a breeze of light wind, an afterthought.
If they ever rejoined the Rouge Squadron, those should be their callsigns, Wedge often said with an unmistakeable hint of longing. The Leader and the Shadow.
Jyn was not particularly well-versed in starship maintenance, but even she could see that this particular one was old, and battered, and one engine would need urgent replacement once they landed. For now, however, there was nothing around them but the dizzying speed of travel, the soft hum of passing parsecs, and the thin foil of steel that separated them from the terrifying vacuum of deep space.
That, and her disgruntlement, as Master Luke put it. Although it was closer to crushing feeling of failure.
“If you don’t want to visit your family next time, all you need to do is tell me.”
Jyn took a sharp breath, then mentally rebuked herself for doing it.
“How did we get there from the ongoing analysis of my present disgruntlement? Master?”
“You are always unstrung when you come back from Coruscant. In one way or another. For one reason or another. What is the reason this time?”
Jyn felt the flare of anger in her chest before she could rein it. She is not a crecheling, and he does not need to know. And by the way it is ridiculous.
Calm. Center. Focus.
“Not now,” said her master gently. “You need to release whatever is in that center of yours right now. From what I can tell, you would not want to focus on it.”
“Yes, Master. I am trying-”
Something flared in the Jedi Master’s eyes, but he chose not to say it.
“Every time you come back from Coruscant, you trust me less and less,” he said. “Why is that?”
“It is not you I trust less, Master Luke. It is myself.”
“Ah. And why is that?”
Jyn took a long, meticulous look at the control panel of the ventilation system, as if she had never seen anything remotely as fascinating.
“Jace asked me to explain what the Force really was.”
Her master sat down beside her, his presence tranquil and luminous as ever.
“And?”
“And I was not able!” said Jyn, frustrated.
Master Luke was smiling.
“And you think I would be?”
“Well, I would be sort of disappointed if you would not, Master,” she said without a beat.
Master Luke seemed a lot more smug than the situation warranted.
“Then I am bound to cruelly disappoint you – for I, my dear apprentice, have no idea how to explain what the Force is.”
Jyn stared at him.
“There is, of course, what the scholars used to say,” Luke Skywalker continued solemnly. “That the Force is an energy field generated by living beings, forming the building blocks of the galaxy, binding the universe together and so forth. But I have never really cared much about scholars myself. And admit it, their explanation does not make much sense, either. An energy field that is somehow supposed to be an ensemble of building blocks? Ridiculous.”
“Well, that is what the Force is,” said Jyn tentatively.
“Your brother did not ask you what the Force was. He asked you to explain what it was.”
“But Master Luke, that is the same thing.”
“Is it, now?” The Jedi Master asked back, his voice cheerful. “Remember when you asked me what a wormhole was, and I explained?”
“I do, Master. A wormhole is a rare phenomenon, when space is bent…”
“No, no. How did I explain? Specifically?”
Understanding dawned in Jyn’s mind. “You folded a piece of paper in two and put a stylus through it.”
“And is a wormhole a piece of paper folded in two with a stylus through it?”
Jyn tilted her head.
“From a certain point of view, Master, you could say that it is. But certainly not from the physical.”
“Do you understand now what your brother wanted of you?”
“I do. Some part of me must have understood it earlier, too, that’s why I said nothing.”
“And did Jacen say what the Force was to him?”
“Sorcery.” Jyn rolled her eyes. “Only because he is not sensitive to it, I presume. But that’s not my fault, and he should not resent me for it. Or Ben. You know, Master, I’m starting to see why Ben never comes home. And I bet that’s why the old Jedi lived their whole life in temples – so their family would stop pestering them.”
“Most of them never knew their families,” said her master thoughtfully. “Do you think that would be better?”
“I don’t know,” said Jyn. “But…”
“But?”
“But maybe there was a reason for it. I mean – a reason in the Force, not a reason constructed by man, or the Old Republic. Maybe Jedi really shouldn’t do the family thing.”
Master Luke smiled ruefully. “I see what you mean.”
“We can’t even explain...”
“Maybe we can’t.”
They sat in companionable silence for a while, paying no heed to the menacing flashes and beeps coming from the control panel.
“I tried to explain your father once,” said Master Luke suddenly. “He had a grasp of the Force itself, so I tried to tell him about the Living and the Unifying Force. He never really cared about grand adjectives, though, so I went with Useful and Burdening.”
Jyn snorted.
“It is true, though,” said Master Luke solemnly. “Take now for an example. What does the Useful Force tell us?”
“That you’ve managed to undisgruntle me,” said Jyn lightly. “I know there is no such word, but anyway. Thanks, Master.”
Luke Skywalker tilted his head.
“Indeed. At the same time, the Burdening Force acquaints us with a larger awareness of our present situation. For example, that we have jumped out of hyperspace; and that our ship is under attack.”
Jyn’s hand froze mid-air. Now that she widened her focus, it was completely inexplicable how she could miss it – the low-key, constant thrumming sense of danger, vowen into the fabric of space around them.
Master Luke was already atop the stairs, blaster in hand, the ship obeying his will instead of the cranky autopilot.
“Told you it was burdening!”
* * *
AJÁNLOM AZ OLDALT
rajzolni tud egszsggyes vagyok. Roxforti hzam a Griffendl, trp vagy hobbit lennk, mintsem tnde, Jedi lovagnak meg irt bna, s a Narniba vezet utat a sok holmim torlaszolja. Szeretek olvasni, br idm kevs van r. Kedvenc hobbim a bonyolult csaldfk ksztse s a karaktertervezs. Szereplim nagy rsze csaldtagok, bartok, ismersk, ellensgek s az utca emberrl lett mintzva.
Sg
