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g�r�ngy se vagy
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Trianon 100

az anyanyelvem elharaptam
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V�kuum

amikor elfert�z�dik egy seb, nem b�r gy�gyulni
v�kuumra teszik
�s az abszol�t semmi sz�v, �s mar, t�p �s gy�t�r �s erej�t�l
a l�g�res t�rbe szakad a f�jdalom
�s a semmi, a t�k�letes semmi v�g�lis
legt�bbsz�r
seg�t
�s hegeszt

B�v�t�sben pedig egy "kivett", kiss� spoileres jelenet a DatB vil�g�b�l. 

Off duty

If one looked at them closely, they weren’t that much alike. Granted, from afar, on the holoprojectors the clone soldiers mirrored each other perfectly, but in reality- in person- they looked more like brothers, members of one big family, than genetic imitations of each other. What seemed inhuman and frightening from the screens - their unity, their perfectly matched movements - all faded away in this more human scenario.

‘Drinks, gentlemen?’

‘Four supernovas, please, thank you!’

The deep tone of voice, the slightly accented speech did not suggest a professional soldier. It was reminiscent of a criminal; a heritage from Fett.

‘Since when are you so into Supernova?’

My casual tone of voice was cautiously selected; I had to be careful about our relationship. My knighting and the fact that I was their appointed leader could easily destroy the friendship we have built on Kamino. And Wil was not here now to help me understand things about them, things that she had an instinctive knowledge of and that I often struggled with.

How individual were they, in the end? They opted for not using their customary uniform, they opted for drinking (which was never allowed to them, not even when they were not on service).

But they still sat with similarly straight, alarming postures, and they all ordered Supernovas.

Their Force presence was colorful, but not as diverse as humanoid’s mostly is.

‘Since Tatooine. And Canto Bight maybe.’ K�l�nc grinned at me, and I found it easy to return the gesture.

‘That was a wild ride, if you don’t mind me saying, general.’

My light expression did not change, but the Force swirled around me in a threatening maelstrom.

‘I am not a general.’ I kept my grin in place with effort. Something about that word alarmed me and I had no concept why. ‘Yeah. It was not our finest mission.’

‘So, what are we to call you then?’

That was the question indeed.

The drinks arrived and they reached for it, and drowned the shot. No matter how effortless they were, how leisure they tried to be, it was still coordinated and similar. It was still one gesture divided into four hands, one melody played by four similar instruments.

‘Ardenis,’ I answered, but K�l�nc just shook his head. ‘We need your title. Here, you can be Ardenis. Out there, in the real life, you can’t.’

I stared at him, bewildered. In the real life? Was the battlefield the life they imagined to be the real one? Was order and following order the only thing they judged to be real, and anything else, any other pleasure, joy, or comradery just a faint, passing fancy?

‘We were built for war, you see.’ He answered me and his brothers nodded. ‘Not for this. Not for Supernova’s and bars and games.’

‘And what if war ends?’

Because even though it had been going on for what felt like forever, even though it seemed the deaths never stopped and war was what we had to live with for a lifetime… It had to end eventually. And if your entire existence revolves around the reality of killing… What do you do in peace?

They shrugged. K�l�nc looked away, he seemed to have understood my implications, but the others seemed unbothered by that concept. Scalpel looked at me expectantly.

‘Your title?’

‘Sergeant.’ I answered reluctantly. There was no reason at that moment, to press them about the end of the war. But it nagged me still, as I reached for my own drink. What was the point of fighting if all you knew was war? What did they fight for, then?